Redneck Church

Redneck church


1. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the
finance committee
refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a
chandelier because none
of the members knows how to play one.

2. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... people
ask, when they
learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were
bass or
catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

3. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... when
the pastor says,
"I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering,"
five guys and two
women stand up.

4. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... opening
day of deer
season is recognized as an official church holiday.

5. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... a
member of the church
requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because
"It ain't never
been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

6. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the
choir is known as
the "OK Chorale."

7. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... in a
congregation of
500 members, there are only seven different last names
in the church
directory.

8. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... people
think "rapture"
is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

9. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the
baptismal pool is a
#2 galvanized "Wheeling" washtub.

10. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the
choir robes were
donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy
Bob's Barbecue.

11. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the
collection plates
are really hubcaps from a'56 Chevy.

12. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
instead of a bell; you
are called to service by a duck call.

13. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the
minister and his
wife drive matching pickup trucks.

14. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the
communion wine is
Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink."

15. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... "Thou
shall not covet"
applies to huntin' dogs, too.

16. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the
final words of the
benediction are, "Y'all come back now, ya heah."

God Bless and don't Y'all fergit ta say yer prayers!!!